FROM KOREA WITH LOVE
I spent Christmas at my sister Missy's place in South Florida. Here is a picture of my sister and me.
Do you see the family resemblance? People say we look like twins!
My sister was born in Pusan, South Korea. My parents adopted her when she was two years old. I was five. I went with my parents to the pick her up at the airport when she came over from Korea. Years later, when my teacher asked me where babies came from, I said “Terminal 7. But they have to go through customs first."
Missy spent the first two years of her life sleeping on a bamboo mat in an orphanage. Her Korean name was Hyun Sil Hahn, which means "Get me the fuck out of here!" Actually, in Korean they say the last name first, so it's really Hahn Hyun Sil, or "The Fuck out of here, get me!"
When my parents adopted my sister they changed her name to Missy, because it sounded kind of Asian but not too Asian. But we grew up in a Jewish neighborhood, so everybody thought her name was Mitzi.
Mitzi McKinley - The Irish Catholic South Korean Jew.
When we were growing up I didn't want the other kids to know that I was adopted. So I told everybody that Missy was really a foreign exchange student who just refused to go home.
My sister was the only Asian kid in our school, and the other kids used to be really mean to her and tease her a lot. Of course, I defended her. Because that's what Americans do when South Koreans are under attack.
Far be in from me to violate U.S. foreign policy. That would be unpatriotic.