I've lived in New York City for almost twenty years.

I've been from the Bronx to the Battery, and everwhere in between. But there's one borough I have managed to completely avoid.

So tonight, I decided to take a cruise to the beautiful Isle of Staten, fabled in story and song.

My journey began as I exited the #1 train at South Ferry station. Toot toot! That's the end of the line!

Follow the signs, Baldie!

"How do I get to Staten Island?" I asked the guard. "Practice!" he answered.

Maybe I'll send all my friends a postcard from Staten Island! Wait a minute. I don't have any friends. What a lucky break! Think of all the money I'll save!

"I should have had dinner before I left," I thought to myself. "I'm so hungry I could eat my own arm."

All aboard! And it's free! How else would they get people to live there?

Blue seats? What is this, a hockey game?

How far away is this island, anyway? It looks so close on the map.

This is Shiraj, from Sri Lanka. He gets to ride the Ferry all day long, while serving commuters delicious treats! Thanks Shiraj!

What better place for a New York City pretzel than the Staten Island Ferry?

God, I love New York City pretzels! With no mustard, of course! That's called "riding bareback."

Land ho! Staten Island is beautiful in the moonlight!

"Yea, the bridge of the Lord shall carry us to the land of milk and honey." Gen 3:16

That was a big pretzel!

Six minutes on Staten Island is puh-lenty! Time to head back on the next ferry.

Okay, this adventure is getting a little boring.

So it's time for more snacks!

God, I love New York City popcorn! With no mustard, of course! Thanks again Shiraj!

What I am doing here is technically against the law. But this is the Staten Island Ferry! Everybody on it is guilty of some sort of crime!

It was a fun trip to Staten Island - and I made a new friend, Henry, who offered me some crack!

Nothing tops off a relaxing cruise like a good hit off the crack pipe!

THANK YOU Staten Island Ferry - for an adventure I'll never forget!

And thanks to Maggie, our intrepid photo-journalist!


At 4/12/2006 06:51:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

James Cameron eat your heart out.

Your cracky tale of the magical voyage to the land of the landfills exposes the majesty and prominence great vessels embody.

Does arm taste better with crack?

At 4/12/2006 10:59:00 AM, Blogger rachael said...

I'd say Maggie is your friend.

At 4/12/2006 11:29:00 AM, Blogger Stacey said...

That was fun! Lets do it again! No Really!

At 4/12/2006 11:37:00 AM, Blogger Will McKinley said...

Anon - Actually arm tastes better with a little A-1 Sauce.

Rachel - Yes, Maggie deserves hazzard pay for this one.

Stacey - I'll be glad to do it again. Where should I go next? I'm taking requests...

At 4/12/2006 12:51:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love New York field trips. Maybe islands should be your theme. You could go to Roosevelt Island (that aerial tram does not looks safe, danger is cool), Coney Island, Governors Island, etc.

At 4/12/2006 01:00:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd say lets do a homeland security check.

Just see how many hospitals you can walk right into without ID.

Of course you have an adavantage looking like a chemo patient...

At 4/12/2006 04:01:00 PM, Blogger Alex said...

Ah, New York. My Dream Place to visit. One Day *sigh* I am afaraid that once I do go , I will never want to leave.

Requests for the next field trip? hmmm, surprise us

At 4/12/2006 04:37:00 PM, Blogger Will McKinley said...

Alex - Plenty of people visit Staten Island and never come back.

Most of those guys are in the mob.


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