I went to a press screening tonight for a new movie that's being released in a few weeks.
Press screening are nice because they're free and usually held in comfortable private screening rooms. I even get to bring Maggie along with me. It's like a free date.
But tonight was different. The movie we watched was so bad that critics were actually walking out. As I watched a few of them leave I wondered how they would write their reviews.
Would they admit that they walked out? Would they tell their readers that the movie was so bad they couldn't bear to do their jobs?
I mean, how hard is it to watch a 100-minute movie? Yes, it sucked. But that's your job. You're getting paid to watch a movie and write about it. That's a pretty sweet job, in the grand scheme of things. The least you can do is watch the whole thing.
I have never walked out of a movie in my entire life - especially the bad ones. I learn more from a terrible movie than I do from a good one. I see where they went wrong, what they should have done differently, and it teaches me something, creatively.
Like, tonight I learned that, just because someone was in the New Kids on the Block, it doesn't make him a good actor. And I also learned that, if you give funny people unfunny things to say, they will seem unfunny.
Lastly, I learned that, tasty snacks really help an audience sit through a bad movie. So, if you ever make a movie, and it turns out badly, and for some reason you decide to show it to critics, make sure you provide free popcorn.
You'd be amazed at how cheaply I can be bought.