HOW TODAY CAME TO BE KNOWN AS GOOD FRIDAY
Today is Good Friday, the day that Christians around the world commemorate the suffering and death of Jesus Christ on the cross more than 2,000 years ago.
I don't know who came up with the name Good Friday, but I'm relatively sure it wasn't Jesus.
I wonder how he felt about it when he rose from the dead three days later.
JOHN THE APOSTLE: Jesus Christ! Wow, it's really great to see you again, man. Seriously. It's kind of a surprise, but a good one, you know? Hey. Wait a minute. That gives me an idea. All of us apostles were talking about how we gotta come up with a name for the day you died. You know, for marketing purposes. So what do you think about Good Friday?
JESUS: Good Friday? Let's see. They made me carry a heavy cross up a mountain. Then they nailed me to it and left me there to die. Yeah, that was a pretty good day.
JOHN THE APOSTLE: Whoa, Jesus. You don't have to be sarcastic about it.
JESUS: I'm not being sarcastic. I'm just making a point, kind of like the one on the sword the Roman soldier stuck in my gut.
JOHN THE APOSTLE: Honestly, Jesus, you're being a little bit sarcastic. I mean it's totally understandable, considering what you've been through the last couple days. I was just throwing shit out there to see what you thought.
JESUS: You want to know what I think? I think we should nail you to a cross tomorrow and see if you think that is a good day.
JOHN THE APOSTLE: Okay, okay, point made. We'll go back to the drawing board. There were a couple other ideas.
JESUS: Like what?
JOHN THE APOSTLE: Well, Matthew suggested Freaky Friday.
JESUS: No can do. That's going to be the name of a Lindsay Lohan movie in 2003. I think it might be confusing for people. Plus, I don't want to make things any worse for her, what with the break up and all.
JOHN THE APOSTLE: That's nice of you. Wait. What's a movie?
JESUS: It's a long story. What else you got?
JOHN THE APOSTLE: Well, I have a list here. We have Jesus Day, Crucifixion Day, Nails-in-Hands-and-Feet Day, Hammer Time...
JESUS: Stop! Hammer Time!
JOHN THE APOSTLE: Can't touch this!
JESUS: oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh!
JOHN THE APOSTLE: Break it down!
JESUS: Every time you see me, that Messiah's just so hype!
I'm dope on the cross and I'm magic on the mic!
JOHN THE APOSTLE: Too legit...too legit to quit! Hey hey!
Wait a minute. What's a mic?
JESUS: You know what? On second thought, just go with Good Friday.
And that's how today came to be known as Good Friday.